Talking to children about treatment

Watch a video about our Child Life specialists, and their integral role in caring for patients and families.

Being in the hospital is hard. Gently and honestly communicating to your child what will happen and why, can make a world of difference.

What you can do

Giving children the right tools to deal with the experience often helps them cooperate more and experience less emotional distress. When talking to your child about treatment, try to communicate accurate information in the gentlest possible language, including why the procedure is occurring and the anticipated sequence of events. Although the procedure may still be stressful, children often find them easier to handle if they know what to expect and have developed coping strategies.

How Child Life Specialists can help

You, your health care team and Child Life Specialists may also be able to provide sensory information, such as what children will see, hear, feel, smell, and how long the procedure will take. You can develop and rehearse coping strategies with your child, such as distraction and guided imagery, to make procedures easier.

Guidelines by age

The following guidelines offer suggestions for talking to children of various ages about medical treatment.

Infants (birth to 1 year)

• When patients are this age, preparation is primarily for parents. Parents should ask their health care team what to expect during the procedure.
• If possible, parents should participate in the care of their infants.
• Leaving a pacifier or unrestrained thumb as a comfort measure for infants can minimize stress.
• Wrap infants in blankets to help keep them calm and still.

Toddlers (1 year-3 years)

• Talk to toddlers no more than a day in advance so they don't experience unnecessary anxiety.
• Simple, easy-to-understand words are best when explaining procedures.
• When possible, allow the child to look at, handle and ask questions about any equipment before it is used.
• Give toddlers choices so they feel they have some control.
• Because toddlers fear separating from parents, the presence of caregivers and parents is crucial.
• Bring security objects to the hospital, such as a blanket or stuffed animal.
• Read story books about the medical experience, and play with real and pretend medical equipment so toddlers know what to expect.
• Reassure toddlers they have not done anything to cause situation.

Preschool (3 years-5 years)

• Plan a coping strategy in advance and allow preschoolers to choose techniques that might help them.
• Use simple explanations to describe what children will hear, see or smell in the hospital.
• Ask open-ended questions of the preschooler to discover fears and fantasies.
• Reinforce that no one is to blame, this is not their fault, and they have done nothing wrong. The illness/injury is not a punishment.
• Read books about hospital experiences they might have. (See Links)
• Play "hospital" with real or pretend medical equipment.

School age (5 years - 12 years)

• Use diagrams, pictures and objects to teach children about their medical situation.
• Explain medical equipment and what will happen next.
• Let children express their feelings and validate their fears (i.e., tell them it's normal or natural to be afraid).
• Find a task for the child that will allow them to help doctors, nurses or parents.
• Be honest. Explain the procedure using who, what, why, when and where.
• Plan a coping strategy in advance.

Teenagers (12+ years)

• Use more detailed information, explaining sights and sounds of the hospital environment or procedure.
• If teens continue to ask more questions, supply more detailed information.
• Respect their need for privacy.
• Realize they may know less than it appears, but they may be afraid or embarrassed to admit it.