Talking to siblings about treatment

Hospitalization is not only stressful for parents and patients. Brothers and sisters who are at home feel the effects as well. At Children's Memorial, we practice family focused care. By understanding that this is a difficult situation for siblings, talking to them about what is going on and reassuring their fears, parents and caregivers can make the situation easier for the entire family. Talk to your Child Life specialist about how to deal with sibling reactions.

Some typical feelings siblings may have:

• Guilt (about angry thoughts or wishes; feeling responsible)
• Fear (of what is happening at the hospital; "catching" illness)
• Anger or jealousy (towards parents or the hospitalized child)
• Abandonment/neglect (who's going to take care of them?)
• Rejection (feeling left out, not as important)
• Confusion (where is their sibling?)

Ways to help:

• Encourage brothers and sisters to visit to help ease their fears.
• Help children express their feelings or concerns, and reinforce to them that all feelings are normal.
• Try to spend time at home, if possible, during the hospitalization.
• If time at home isn't possible, call siblings daily and send pictures.
• Spend time with each individual child after the hospitalization.
• Acknowledge and try to understand siblings' feelings.
• Use teachers, neighbors and family friends as a resource for help.
• Try to keep a normal routine and schedule.
• Share information with the sibling, prepare child for visits and read books about hospitals.

Some children will exhibit behavior changes as a result of siblings' hospitalization.

Siblings may:

• Become more demanding, clingy, and whiny, and may have difficulty separating.
• Have nightmares or difficulty sleeping.
• Ignore you when you come home. They are telling you they need your patience and love. Usually after things settle down and the family is in the same routine, these behaviors go away.