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Specific suggestions for coping

The lists below contain suggestions for patients, parents, and siblings that may help each individual cope with his/her emotions, depending upon the age of the child with cancer and the age of the siblings.

Infants and very young children (birth to 3 years of age)

For patients

  • Holding
  • Touching
  • Rocking
  • Soft music
  • Hugging
  • Cuddling
  • Distracting with toys or colorful objects
  • Creating a cheerful, comfortable hospital room
  • Having siblings visit
  • Keeping their regular schedule for sleeping and feeding

For siblings

  • Providing cuddling
  • Hugging frequently
  • Arranging visits to ill brother or sister
  • Keeping them near parents, if possible
  • Using relatives, friends, or a daycare center to maintain their usual daily routine
  • Having one parent spend time with them daily
  • Recording lullabies, stories, messages when parent cannot be at home
  • Offering frequent reassurance to toddlers that mommy or daddy will soon be back

Toddlers, pre-school (3 to 5 years of age)

For patients

  • Giving very simple and repeated explanations for what is happening
  • Providing comfort when child is upset or fearful
  • Checking on child's understanding of what is happening
  • Offering choices when possible
  • Teaching acceptable expression of angry feelings
  • Maintaining a normal daily schedule for feeding and sleeping
  • Giving simple explanation for parent's distress, sadness, or crying

For siblings

  • Giving a simple explanation that brother or sister is sick and that people are helping
  • Offering comfort and reassurance about parent's absence
  • Arranging for reliable daily care and maintenance of usual routines
  • Having one parent see child daily, if possible
  • Remaining alert to changes in behavior
  • Reassuring child about parent's distress or sadness.

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